Leviticus 21 and 22 | Rules and Stuff

Leviticus 21 - Priestly Rules

This chapter is full of instructions for priests.  Interesting stuff in it:

- verses 1-4: priests can only touch the corpses of his closest relatives and nobody related to him only by marriage;
- verse 5: priests can never shave their heads, trim their beards, or cut their bodies (with, apparently, the exception of The Loppin' Off of the Foreskin);
- verse 9: if you're a priest and your daughter becomes a prostitute, it reflects badly on you, so KILL HER WITH FIRE!!!!!!
"Ho-bag." --The LAWD
Leviticus 22 - More Priestly Rules and Sacrifice Criteria

More instructions for priests.  Mostly stuff like "stay ceremonially clean or I will ensure your death; I am the LORD who loves you" and all that.

Interesting stuff:

- verses 10-11:  Nobody outside a priest's family may eat the sacred offerings.  The only exception is a slave the priest buys for himself, and if the slave has kids, fine, they can nom the fudz too.
- verse 14: If a non-priest-related individual noms the sacred offerings without realizing it, he or she must pay the priest for the amount eaten plus an additional 20 percent.
Some days, it ain't worth drawin' the desks.  Just imagine the big freakin' rectangle is a desk.

Thank you.
From verse 17 on, we get information about offerings that God's cool with.

Interesting stuff:

- verse 24:  If an animal's balls are damaged or if it's castrated, don't offer it to God.
"...shit." --Bob Barker

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