Numbers 14 | Shun the Non-believers! Shunnnnn-uh
The people told Moses and Aaron that this whole situation sucked and they'd have been better off dying in Egypt or in the wilderness on the way to... to not those places.
Josh and Caleb spoke up and said that the land was awesome and if God was happy with them, he'd lead them into it, waxing poetic about how it flows with milk and honey and not mentioning who has to clean it all up or whether anyone has allergies. They instructed the people to trust in God and not worry about or be afraid of their enemies because "we will devour them" (yeah, it's actually there. 14-9).
Moses, ever one to brown his nose, said that what God has planned is going to be so awesome that the Egyptians would hear about it and spread it down the generations as testament to the power of God, but maybe don't kill all of these people because it would be evidence that God was unable to fulfill his promise because "slaughtered in the wilderness" is almost no one's view of what deliverance means.
"Let's show everyone your power. You still punish sins down to he third and fourth generations of those who commit them, right? That is less than stellar news for these folks. Howzabout you forgive them instead?"
"Fine," said God. "But none of the nonbelievers are going into this sweet-ass land. Caleb, he's a good dude. He can go. Josh too. Screw the rest of 'em."
Moses then warned the people that those who said "the land sucks" were gonna die of a plague, then they died of a plague. Then the Israelites felt guilty and schlepped along to the highest point in the hill country.
Moses warned them they'd die because God wasn't with them. Then they were killed by the Amalakites and Canaanites.
Josh and Caleb spoke up and said that the land was awesome and if God was happy with them, he'd lead them into it, waxing poetic about how it flows with milk and honey and not mentioning who has to clean it all up or whether anyone has allergies. They instructed the people to trust in God and not worry about or be afraid of their enemies because "we will devour them" (yeah, it's actually there. 14-9).
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| "We could eat all this milk and honey or we could flippantly talk about cannibalism re: the giant people who have a vested interest in protecting their land from our invasion." |
The people were afraid because they were talking about going head-to-head with giants with a "don't worry about it" attitude, which is widely perceived even now to be fantastically stupid. So there was immediate talk about stoning Josh and Caleb for sheer idiocy when God, in his showing-up-as-a-bit-of-light way, said to Moses, "how long are they gonna refuse to believe in me, despite all I've done for 'em? Screw 'em--I'ma kill all of 'em with a plague."
Moses, ever one to brown his nose, said that what God has planned is going to be so awesome that the Egyptians would hear about it and spread it down the generations as testament to the power of God, but maybe don't kill all of these people because it would be evidence that God was unable to fulfill his promise because "slaughtered in the wilderness" is almost no one's view of what deliverance means.
"Let's show everyone your power. You still punish sins down to he third and fourth generations of those who commit them, right? That is less than stellar news for these folks. Howzabout you forgive them instead?"
"Fine," said God. "But none of the nonbelievers are going into this sweet-ass land. Caleb, he's a good dude. He can go. Josh too. Screw the rest of 'em."
Moses then warned the people that those who said "the land sucks" were gonna die of a plague, then they died of a plague. Then the Israelites felt guilty and schlepped along to the highest point in the hill country.
Moses warned them they'd die because God wasn't with them. Then they were killed by the Amalakites and Canaanites.
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| "Now GO AWAY! or we will taunt you a second time-eeuhh." |
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