Exodus 17 | A Handy Victory
Israel set out from the Desert of Sin, wandering about from place to place. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water around, so they got all uppity with Moses again. "We can haz waters?" they asked again.
"Whaddaya askin' me fer?" replied Moses. "Test God. Ask him."
However, they continued to grumble at Moses. "Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Just to watch us--our children, our livestock, all of our people--die of thirst?!"
Moses cried out to the LORD. "What am I supposed to DO with these people?! They're ready to stone me!"
"Go out in front of errabody," said God, "and bring the elders of Israel. Smack up some rocks with the staff you used to turn the Nile into blood. I'll be there by the rock at the Mountain of God." So Moses played stickball with rocks while the elders watched, wondering if the LORD was really there or not.
Then the Amalekites attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. Moses found some dude named Josh and told him to take some men and fight the Amalekites. "I'll stand on top of the hill tomorrow with the staff of God in my hands."
So Josh and company fought the Amalekites as Moses ordered. Moses, Aaron, and some other dude named Hur went to the top of the hill. If Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but when he lowered them, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses grew tired, Aaron and Hur each held up one of his hands so they remained steady until sunset.
Josh led Israel to victory in her war with the Amalekites.
God told Moses, "Write this down: I will blot the name of Amalek from under Heaven because they raised arms against Israel." Moses did so, which interestingly placed the name of Amalek in every single Bible ever printed containing the book of Exodus (he forgot the White-Out).
Moses built an altar, declaring "because hands were lifted against God's throne, he will be at war with the Amalekites from generation to generation."
"Whaddaya askin' me fer?" replied Moses. "Test God. Ask him."
However, they continued to grumble at Moses. "Why did you bring us out of Egypt? Just to watch us--our children, our livestock, all of our people--die of thirst?!"
Moses cried out to the LORD. "What am I supposed to DO with these people?! They're ready to stone me!"
"Go out in front of errabody," said God, "and bring the elders of Israel. Smack up some rocks with the staff you used to turn the Nile into blood. I'll be there by the rock at the Mountain of God." So Moses played stickball with rocks while the elders watched, wondering if the LORD was really there or not.
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| Moses, Moses, quite a guy / thwacked the rocks n' made 'em cry / Then the people calmed their fears / and glugged upon those rocky tears |
So Josh and company fought the Amalekites as Moses ordered. Moses, Aaron, and some other dude named Hur went to the top of the hill. If Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but when he lowered them, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses grew tired, Aaron and Hur each held up one of his hands so they remained steady until sunset.
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| "And lo, it came to pass that Shao Kahn did giggle." |
God told Moses, "Write this down: I will blot the name of Amalek from under Heaven because they raised arms against Israel." Moses did so, which interestingly placed the name of Amalek in every single Bible ever printed containing the book of Exodus (he forgot the White-Out).
Moses built an altar, declaring "because hands were lifted against God's throne, he will be at war with the Amalekites from generation to generation."
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