Exodus 16 | Quail Slaughter and Sandy Dandruff
Israel set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin (Sin being the name of the desert, not like... a sandy Sodom-and-Gomorrah type thing) and the people got all grumbly about Moses and Aaron.
"Woulda been better if we'd been clobbered in Egypt," they rambled. "Better than this dying starved in the wilderness thing. We had all the food we wanted in Egypt!"
So the LORD talked to Moses. "I'll rain down bread from heaven for you. Each day, the people are to go out and gather enough for that day. That's how I'll test them and see that they're following my instructions. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will yield twice as much as they gathered."
So Moses and Aaron told the Israelites, "God's heard your moanin' an' groanin' against him. You will know this evening that it was God who brought you out of Egyptian oppression. You will know it's the LORD when he gives you meat to nom upon in the evening and all the bread you could want in the morning. But who are we? You're not complaining against Moses and Aaron here, lads n' lasses--you're complaining against the LORD who freed you."
Moses asked Aaron to tell the entire Israelite community, "Come before the LORD, for he's heard your complaining."
While Aaron told them, they looked toward the desert, and God appeared as a cloud.
Godcloud told Moses "you'll nom upon meat at twilight and in the morning you'll nom upon bread galore. Then you'll all know that I am the LORD your god."
That evening, a bunch of quail came and covered the camp and were duly nommed upon after, presumably, a massive quail slaughter.
When morning came round, there was a layer of dew around the camp. When the dew had evaporated, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor. The Israelites wondered what it was, naming it "Manna," the Hebrew word for "sand dandruff what is it?"
Moses explained to them that it's the bread Godcloud promised. "Everyone is to gather as much as they need. Take about three pounds for everyone you have in your tent." So they did; everyone gathered just as much as they needed.
Then Moses told them not to keep any of it until morning. But, naturally, some of them paid no heed to the wacky bearded fellow, and the next morning it was full of maggots and smelly, so Moses was upset with them.
Each morning, everyone gathered as much as they needed, and when the sun got hot, it melted away. On the sixth day, they all gathered twice as much as they needed--six pounds a person--and the leaders reported this to Moses.
"It's all good," he said. "God commanded it. He said 'tomorrow is to be a day of sabbath rest. So bake what you want to bake and boil what you wanna boil. Save whatever's left and keep it until morning.'"
So they saved it until morning and it didn't get maggoty or smelly. "Nom it today," said Moses, "because today's a holy sabbath to the Godcloud. You won't find any of it on the ground today. Six days you are to gather it, but on every seventh day, the Sabbath, there won't be any."
Still, some of the people went out on the seventh day to gather it, but they didn't find any. Then Godcloud asked Moses, "How long will you refuse to heed my instructions? I give you bread on the sixth day for two days so you can chillax on the seventh. Everyone is to stay put on the Sabbath; nobody is to go out." So everyone rested, uneasily, in place, on the Sabbath days.
Manna was white and tasted like wafers made with honey. Moses told the people, "This is what the LORD commanded: 'Take three pounds of manna and keep it for the generations to come, so they can see the bread.'"
"Can't they just have faith that it existed?" an Israelite said.
"That's a marvelous idea," said Godcloud, and tucked it away for later. "But no. Not this time. Pack it up."
The Israelites ate manna for forty years as they wandered around the desert as the unmerry company of an eccentric bearded man until they reached the border of Canaan.
"Woulda been better if we'd been clobbered in Egypt," they rambled. "Better than this dying starved in the wilderness thing. We had all the food we wanted in Egypt!"
So the LORD talked to Moses. "I'll rain down bread from heaven for you. Each day, the people are to go out and gather enough for that day. That's how I'll test them and see that they're following my instructions. On the sixth day, when they prepare what they bring in, it will yield twice as much as they gathered."
 |
| Standardized testing was pretty heavy back then. |
Moses asked Aaron to tell the entire Israelite community, "Come before the LORD, for he's heard your complaining."
While Aaron told them, they looked toward the desert, and God appeared as a cloud.
Godcloud told Moses "you'll nom upon meat at twilight and in the morning you'll nom upon bread galore. Then you'll all know that I am the LORD your god."
That evening, a bunch of quail came and covered the camp and were duly nommed upon after, presumably, a massive quail slaughter.
 |
| "I'm tellin' you, we're not quail! ...quails? Whatevah, you got da wrong guys!!!" |
Moses explained to them that it's the bread Godcloud promised. "Everyone is to gather as much as they need. Take about three pounds for everyone you have in your tent." So they did; everyone gathered just as much as they needed.
Then Moses told them not to keep any of it until morning. But, naturally, some of them paid no heed to the wacky bearded fellow, and the next morning it was full of maggots and smelly, so Moses was upset with them.
Each morning, everyone gathered as much as they needed, and when the sun got hot, it melted away. On the sixth day, they all gathered twice as much as they needed--six pounds a person--and the leaders reported this to Moses.
"It's all good," he said. "God commanded it. He said 'tomorrow is to be a day of sabbath rest. So bake what you want to bake and boil what you wanna boil. Save whatever's left and keep it until morning.'"
So they saved it until morning and it didn't get maggoty or smelly. "Nom it today," said Moses, "because today's a holy sabbath to the Godcloud. You won't find any of it on the ground today. Six days you are to gather it, but on every seventh day, the Sabbath, there won't be any."
Still, some of the people went out on the seventh day to gather it, but they didn't find any. Then Godcloud asked Moses, "How long will you refuse to heed my instructions? I give you bread on the sixth day for two days so you can chillax on the seventh. Everyone is to stay put on the Sabbath; nobody is to go out." So everyone rested, uneasily, in place, on the Sabbath days.
Manna was white and tasted like wafers made with honey. Moses told the people, "This is what the LORD commanded: 'Take three pounds of manna and keep it for the generations to come, so they can see the bread.'"
"Can't they just have faith that it existed?" an Israelite said.
"That's a marvelous idea," said Godcloud, and tucked it away for later. "But no. Not this time. Pack it up."
The Israelites ate manna for forty years as they wandered around the desert as the unmerry company of an eccentric bearded man until they reached the border of Canaan.
Comments
Post a Comment