Welcome to The Gist!
Hi, all!
The Gist is a watered-down version of the Old and New Testaments (or at least it will be). I've so far completed Genesis and then I got lazy for like a whole freakin' year after that and didn't continue. So now my goal is to do a Monday-Friday chapter-by-chapter blog wherein I bring you a readable version of the Bible replete with commentary and controversy and heretical nonsense (some or even most of which is implied or explicit in the Bible itsownself).
Now, the Bible is a very interesting book in that it's the basis for billions of lives the world over. Many regard it as the infallible word of God, written by his own hand, or at least inspired by God and written by the hands of people who had the luxury of writing in a time before Gutenberg's press. Bibles and sacred books have been written on papyrus, sheep skin, scrawled in sand, chiseled on stone tablets, and maybe even scrawled on the lids of Victorian-era coffins from unfortunate souls who had been buried alive.
Anyway, the Bible is regarded by a whole lot of people to be a basis for their entire lives. It contains graphic violence, nudity, incest, rape, murder, wars, unnecessary bloodshed, lies, crimes against humanity by and for the Abrahamic godhead, and all manner of terror as well as lessons in grace, forgiveness, fortitude, awe, wonder, and childlike curiosity. It's a collection of contradictions that I simply cannot allow to be passed up by my generation simply because it sounds like unreadable garble from the era of King James.
That said, what I'm doing is not "translating." Why?
The Gist is a watered-down version of the Old and New Testaments (or at least it will be). I've so far completed Genesis and then I got lazy for like a whole freakin' year after that and didn't continue. So now my goal is to do a Monday-Friday chapter-by-chapter blog wherein I bring you a readable version of the Bible replete with commentary and controversy and heretical nonsense (some or even most of which is implied or explicit in the Bible itsownself).
Now, the Bible is a very interesting book in that it's the basis for billions of lives the world over. Many regard it as the infallible word of God, written by his own hand, or at least inspired by God and written by the hands of people who had the luxury of writing in a time before Gutenberg's press. Bibles and sacred books have been written on papyrus, sheep skin, scrawled in sand, chiseled on stone tablets, and maybe even scrawled on the lids of Victorian-era coffins from unfortunate souls who had been buried alive.
Anyway, the Bible is regarded by a whole lot of people to be a basis for their entire lives. It contains graphic violence, nudity, incest, rape, murder, wars, unnecessary bloodshed, lies, crimes against humanity by and for the Abrahamic godhead, and all manner of terror as well as lessons in grace, forgiveness, fortitude, awe, wonder, and childlike curiosity. It's a collection of contradictions that I simply cannot allow to be passed up by my generation simply because it sounds like unreadable garble from the era of King James.
That said, what I'm doing is not "translating." Why?
This is NOT "The Bible." You should NOT base your faith in the stuff I'm writing. It's inspired by my desire to make the Bible stories readable in a fun way rather than by a skydaddy who thinks the stuff is so important someone oughta write it down before the Printing Press is invented to ensure translation error. You're more than welcome, of course, to believe that what I'm doing is a service to God if you like, but for now, at least, I just wish to be forthright in telling you that it's not my intention and that my only "agenda" here is to make people laugh and explore the Bible in a fun way.
So this might be offensive. At times, in fact, it probably will be. And it's not that I don't care, but... okay, maybe it is. But if your faith is that easily shaken, you really should reexamine it anyway.
Happy Gisting!
Love, peace, and SweetBrown,
Matt
Comments
Post a Comment